Let me explain why this book is critical and taking more time than anticipated. As a matter of fact, I reached out to a reader and asked her opinion about the way she wanted to see the story go. She was as torn as me. These characters have become a part of my life and I have a vested interest in telling their story and telling it right. It's not just me pushing an agenda. I may want to write this book one way, but when it falls flat and I struggle with the scene, I know I've pushed my way onto them instead of letting them tell their story. With all that said, the reason for the delay is because I have literally written this book 3/4 of the way TWICE. I was so hell bent on writing it one way and then an epiphany hit me. It's crippled me, plagued me and changes my story completely.
If you saw a girl, one you suspected had an interest in your boyfriend, walk out of the men’s restroom with your boyfriend hot on her heels. Would you allow him to get on a flight with you to New York? Even if you loved him and were hurting? Even if your father had a stroke and you needed his love more than ever? What would you do?
And that's what I pose to my readers. It could go either way and I've written it both ways. The story unfolds differently both ways. He's either stunted and left cold or he forces his way onto the plane and takes his chances at repairing the wrongs. What happens if she rejects him either way? As we all know...K.K.'s a runner.
I am working so hard to make this book all you expect it to be. Patience is a virtue I don’t have and I know you are all on the edge of sanity waiting to find out what happens with K.K. and Josh. I don't know if I'll be able to finish it by week's end, but my critique partner is reading it as I write it so that when I am finished it's just a matter of formatting and uploading it to Amazon and the other platforms.
Here's a little teaser: MERGER UNDONE
My eyes were still closed, but I was jostled into awareness by the open and closing of the door and the weight of someone on my bed. There was a glimmer of sunlight peeking through the heavy lined drapes of my bedroom. I knew morning had come and I didn’t feel any better than when I’d slipped under the covers hours earlier. I felt the comforter lift and then the warmth of someone molding their body to mine. The smell of him and the way he fit around me made me shudder and my stomach
tighten. I felt my small lungs give way to a dramatic rush of air and then tears started falling quickly with the realization that Joshua was finally here. He folded me into the cocoon of his love and stroked my hair as I fell to pieces against him.
“Shhhh,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m so sorry baby.”
I pulled his hand to my face and kissed his palm before slipping it under my cheek and cradling my head in its warmth. I missed his touch and his unwavering love for me. The passion in his eyes when he looked at me like I was the only woman on earth. The way he knew every contour of my body and just how to touch me. He knew what I needed before I did and I was ready to let him take a bit of that control. I didn’t know how we were going to manage our future, but I was going to make sure he never left again. The next time he left it was going to be to collect his California life and bring it back to New York or he and I were going to be partners and nothing more. I couldn’t keep riding the rollercoaster of our love. I was more fragile than I’d ever been and I knew I was going to bounce back stronger or be left a ghost of the woman I was before. It was all or nothing.
I was still crying but turned my body to see his beautiful face. His eyes were deep blue like the Aegean Sea. It felt like they were looking through me, to my soul. I wondered if he knew my thoughts, my dreams, my desperation and how lost I was. How I needed the world to just bend with me for once and help me find some peace. My life suddenly felt like a minefield and I was moving through it with trepidation instead of confidence.
“Josh…” I said it like I was unsure of my reality. And maybe I was.
“I’m here. I’m never leaving you again. I promise.”
My face was messy and wet with tears and a runny nose, but he looked past my grief and smoothed his soft lips against mine. I whimpered at the remembrance of all we’d shared, as the memories of how we came to be, flooded my brain and took over my senses. I loved this man. He was mine. Time nor distance had mattered. My heart started swelling in my chest. His long fingers dove into my messy brown hair and our kiss proceeded as it always did, with unbridled love, passion, and complete understanding. Sad or not I missed him and wanted to crawl beneath the shelter of his skin. I needed every inch of him in me, on me and over me. I needed to drown out everything but us, till I could see my life clearly again.
Stay tuned to see how it all unfolds!
Heather M. Miles